Marriage Counseling

How To Find Marriage Help

There is probably nothing scarier than the sense that one's marriage is in trouble. But finding marriage help is easier than you might imagine. There are several different marriage help options ranging from the do-it-yourself approach to formal counseling. If you think your marriage is on the rocks, consider these ideas.

Self-Help Books There have been many excellent books written about getting a marriage back on the right track, everything from teaching a couple to learn to enjoy togetherness again (The Couple's Comfort Book by Jennifer Louden) to explicit advice about avoiding divorce (The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage by Michele Weiner Davis). Of course, these books are only as good as your own commitment to reading them and working on the suggested exercises.

The Internet

Some people feel more comfortable online than they do in face-to-face settings. And the internet certainly has a wealth of sites that contain marriage advice (e.g., www.marriagebuilders.com, www.hubbynet.com, and www.relationshipgold.com/Marriage/index.htm.) Just be sure you don't fall in with a charlatan who will charge you outrageous sign-up fees and in return give you little or nothing.

Friends

Most people have been through rough spots in relationships before. It can be helpful to talk to friends who have worked on and rescued their marriages. Remember that a helpful friend is not someone who will agree with every word you say and bash your partner right along with you, but rather someone who is not afraid to gently challenge your perceptions and behavior.

Clergy

If you belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque, consider talking to your spiritual leader about the problems you have been having. Most clergy have received at least rudimentary training in marriage counseling, and talking things through with a third party that you both respect can help resolve nagging conflicts and issues.

Marriage Counselor

Marriage counselors, who can be licensed counselors, psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, etc., have a wealth of ideas and techniques for working through seemingly insurmountable problems. It's important to find a counselor that both you and your partner feel comfortable talking to. If one doesn't work, try another. Each practitioner will have his or her own style and approach. Individual Counselor

When you are in marriage counseling, the marriage counselor may recommend that one or both members of a couple start individual therapy. The individual therapy should be with a different therapist. It's not a good idea to see your marriage counselor for individual therapy. The marriage counselor is especially likely to make this suggestion if psychological or substance abuse problems are playing a part in destroying the marriage.

No one wants to think about needing marriage help, but if your marriage is in trouble, it is important that you know there are several resources available to you. Don't be afraid to use them while you work on rescuing one of the closest relationships you'll ever have.

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