Work Out Your Differences Before Your Big Day With Premarital Counseling
Only 25% of married couples will see "happily ever after." Most affairs and divorces occur in the first two years of marriage. Couples tend to forget that which catering company to use, DJ or no DJ, how many people to invite, the wedding date, or whether to get married in a church or a garden are not the only decisions they have to make between "Yes I'll marry you" and "I do." Many churches and pastors/priests now require newlywed-to-be couples to attend a premarital course. These courses outline many things not thought about - how to raise children, how many children, how to present a unified front, creating a vision of the future together that both individuals can see, who pays the bills, etc. Homework is often a part of these classes, with a workbook to take home. The information contained in these workbooks includes, but is not limited to notes that explain a discussion topic in further detail and a bibliography of where the premarital counselor pulled their information from in case a couple wants to do some further reading. While part of the premarital class is a workshop, the majority of discussion is done privately, as the purpose of the program is to help a newlywed-to-be couple discuss their individual lives becoming one.
Premarital Counseling allows couples the opportunity to recognize possible problem areas in their relationship. The transition between moving from Me to We is probably one of the larger causes of marital problems in the beginning. The reason being is that individuals go from living on their own doing what they want when they want it to living in the same home as a person they are legally "stuck" with for life. When couples move in together after the wedding, seldom do they think of the changes that will occur; any monetary decisions made need to be collective, each individual cannot just leave the house without notifying the other. Conflict resolution is another big thing to be discussed. Knowing how each person handles conflict will help stop "below the belt" comments being made. Premarital counseling isn't a chore as many often think. In reality, counseling before tying the knot can be a big help in keeping the bliss with the wedded. If calling it "Premarital Counseling" scares you enough to make you want to run the other way, think of it as "Premarital Education." That's what you're doing; educating one another on how you act and react in different situations. Many organizations offer these classes and while it is up to you as a couple where you take the classes, if you're getting married in the church, the best place would probably be with the pastor or priest that is marrying you. This person will know both the bride and groom better than any other premarital counseling organization. |
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